Dating Disaster
By: Vicki H
All right Ladies, I need all the advice I can get!
I am just about ready to throw in the towel
in my search for love.
I am divorced and single about 2 years now and I never in my wildest fantasies thought dating in my mid thirties would be so insane. I have tried some online sites, and even survived some famous blind dates arranged by loved ones.I am the source of hilarious tales that my married friends just wait to hear!
I have dated tall, short, thin, heavy, young, old, bikers and bankers… sigh – still no match.
Online I feel like its my duty to be upfront with men and be sure they knowI am Queen size, yet I highly doubt thinnner women feel pressure to tell them about their skinny ankles or knobby knees!
I am ready for suggestions!
I have turned over so many rocks, kissed some frogs, and all I have ended up with is more chapters for my memoirs LOL
Where are the men who love voluptuous women?
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12 Responses to this article
I’d love to tell you that it’s just as simple as going to this particular website and chatting with these types of guys – but we all know it doesn’t work that way. I met my boyfriend online. It was a total fluke and it happened in the most unusual way.
I remember always telling guys before we’d go on a date “you know I’m a plus size girl… right?” as if they hadn’t really seen my pictures (even though they were always there for everyone to see). It really isn’t necessary. They DO see you and your big beautiful self. I find I was always the one partially getting in my way and search for love. Be confident that YES, that man knows you’re a big beautiful woman and that YES he absolutely does want to talk to you.
P.S. The old saying is true – you find it when and where you least expect it. Be open and receptive to love and always remember to love you first
I’m a lesbian and in the same situation as you are .. I definetly could use all this great advise too …and most of it I knew …..,but need to be reminded after dealings with your battered emotions of a relationship breakup / divorce … It naturally affects our self confidence and self esteem … The on line dating, is kind of uncomfortable for me ,usually, but has been an like that too !! I It can dash your feelings too … I don’t like to have to be the person , to let down someone elses hopes / feelings , but I have become much more choosier and that Really narrows down the odds but Being single has many advantages … .. Appreciate the great advise and support ..!!…..
Hey, I think I can use any and all advice
I hope you find some on here too! You make some really great points, I wish you lots of luv and luck!
I am bi (don’t throw anything at me!) I am recently divorced as my husband who I have been with since 1994 decided one day that he didn’t want to be married anymore, that he was going to move home and we could date!!! I was devastated!!
I ended up getting sick and was visited every day in the hospital by one of my co-workers that I barely knew. We fell in love and have been together ever since. I now live with Annie at her house!
Hi Vicki.
I found a great guy when I was 34 fishing on one of those sites. I too was at the brink of the ‘break up’ with the whole idea of dating. At the danger of being repetitious, I’ll say that you need to make sure you LOVE yourself, and you acknowledge what a TERRIFIC ‘catch’ you are for any man. And yes, that’s all I’ve got. My bf loves curvy women, and they’re out there. The trouble BBW have online is no different than thinner women. The online dating world is full of irreverent, insulting, freaky, lying and horny men. Being in possession of yourself is the most important.
then it IS time to wait. But don’t throw in the towel on love. Just throw it into the mirror.
If you want a relationship more than you want to do things for yourself. If you want a man to take care of you because you don’t feel you can do it yourself (not that ‘it’
This next one is a big one – don’t let your trials, and tribulations (and real honest to goodness heartache) be flippant entertainment for the vicariously single. Love is REAL and so is the negative feedback (laughs for pain) which will only reinforce that you are destined to fail. Keep it secret.
A word about lingerie. Wear the lesser sexy but more comfy underclothes on the date. Go for coffee with this person like you’re setting up an appointment at the bank. Nerves – yes. Need to be dressed for the occassion – yes. Boink ready? Not unless things go REALLY well.
Finally – HAVE fun. Tell your stories to your journal. I’m sure you know married women who wish they were on your adventure. Who wish they could get the bed to themselves just one night. Who wish they would wake up with their day and their week completely their own. And who wish they could get a little variety once in a while. OWN it. I wish you good lovin’ my BBW sister!
Ok, how amazing and beautiful of a person are you?! For taking the time to offer advice and damn powerful words-I thank you! Perhaps this journey is a little deeper than I originally thought.You have made me think hard about what I am searching for, is it for a date or for myself? Thanks for the heads up….
with love i guess we need to stop lookiing because the more you are looking it become an obssetion not love anymore and first love you more than anyone ,the problem with us Big women its that we love them more than us and its never work.
you may be right-”hit the nail on the head” so to speak…. I should take off my DATING GLASSES and perhaps he will appear when I am not looking..I may try that-thanks for the words of wisdom
Hey Vicki! I’m in the same boat as you, but ten years older (yes, feel my pain! lol). The world of dating is a very scary one. I have kissed the above-mentioned frogs, some racoons, a few squirrels, various other mammals (and even a few garden gnomes! ) and still, no prince! I know that our princes are out there…..somewhere…..but I guess they just need a really good BBW GPS to find us! We should go for drinks and trade horror stories! Lol Smoochies! Ann
Oh Annie-I wish you so much better luck than me! HA! Thanks for your reply, it made me giggle and you have that great pic of you-very devlish and fun, I have a feeling if we went for drinks, I would be peeing my pants with laughter in no time! Lets start up a speed dating event for BBWS!!
Vicki, first off, just be yourself. That’s the most important thing as you will glow in someone else’s eyes. Second, if you connect with someone online (I highly recommend Lavalife, that’s where I met my husband), make sure you chat with them for a while to get to know each other. This will also give you an opportunity to share photos, etc… By the time you meet, hopefully appearances won’t deter and there will be a spark because they know who you are. Don’t give up, there is someone out there for each and everyone of us!!
Thanks for taking the time to reply and letting me know about Lavalife! I am glad you have a successful love story-show me the way!!